Information for Family & Friends
Why do people gamble?
Research shows that people gamble for many different, individualised
and often complex reasons.
These can include: entertainment, the thrill of winning,
the excitement of risk-taking, as a way of switching off worries,
as a quick fix for financial problems, to combat boredom and/or
loneliness, to relax and for the enjoyment of a comfortable,
safe and friendly environment (eg a club or casino).
The initial reasons that may attract someone to gambling
can change over time eg. someone who starts playing the pokies
for a bit of a flutter may later end up playing to recoup
losses.
Gambling may also take up increasing amounts of the gambler's
time, attention and resources.
People do not become overnight problem gamblers. It happens
over time.
When some one close to you has a gambling problem
Gambling - Is there a problem?
Not everyone who gambles encounters gambling problems. However,
family and friends are often the first to get concerned about
the negative consequences and to see the warning signs that
gambling habits may be becoming problematic.
Not understanding why someone continues to gamble despite
the difficulties can be frustrating and confusing - especially
if the gambler downplays or ignores your expressions of concern
about their behaviour.
This is partly because the costs or negative consequences
associated with gambling (such as financial, health, relationship,
work or legal difficulties) and the impact of these costs
on friends or family (such as dishonoured loans, feeling pressured
to lend money, worrying about the gambler's well-being and
future, or feeling cut out of the gambler's life) can appear
obvious to outsiders but not so much to the gambler.
What may not be so evident are the benefits or payoffs people
can derive from gambling - and which can motivate us to gamble
in ways that might seem counter-productive to others.
How can I stop him/her gambling?
You can't force someone to change their gambling habits.
They make that decision themselves. You can, however, make
changes in your own life that:
- Minimise the negative impacts of someone else's gambling
habits on you and your lifestyle eg.
- Look after your health and mental well-being. You'll
be better able to deal with difficult situations if you
can think clearly and calmly.
- Get support and information. Talk with friends. Ventilate
your feelings and clarify what the problems are for you.
Friends may already sense something is wrong.
- Protect your own financial security (eg keep money
in a separate account not accessible to the gambler;-Talk
with professionals. Contact counselling and gambling services,
seek out financial and/or legal advice.
- Other options. Read relevant books and articles. Contact
self-help groups.
And
- Increase the likelihood that the gambler is aware of and
takes responsibility for the direct and indirect costs of
his/her gambling, eg increase the likelihood that the gambler
is aware of and takes responsibility for the direct and
indirect costs of his/her gambling.
- Stop protecting them. If you are too helpful, caring,
or forgiving it is much easier for them to keep gambling.
They don't have to recognise and deal with the negative
consequences of their gambling if other people do it for
them (eg by paying the bills/debts or taking on an extra
job to compensate for what gets spent on gambling).
It can be hard to do this, but the gambler is likely
to continue gambling unless they are experiencing its
problematic consequences.
- Talk with the gambler about how their behaviour is impacting
on you
- Explain how you feel and how their behaviour is affecting
you. Give clear and specific examples.
Stay calm and clear-thinking. Refuse to get drawn into arguments
or to be diverted. It might be helpful to write down what
you would like the other person to know. Remember: You are
not responsible for others behaviour or feelings but you are
responsible for your own.
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